Trust Your Instincts: A Father's Message To New Parents

Dear new parents,

Congratulations on the arrival of your beautiful first child! Brace yourself because here comes a deluge of advice from, well, well-meaning folks. It can sometimes be overwhelming: the multitude of choices, the “proper” way to do things, and everyone offering their points of view and opinions.

However, beneath its simplicity (and many complexities) lies a deep-seated truth:

Nothing is more powerful and reassuring than the innate wisdom that resides within us parents.

So, sit back and grab a drink because, throughout this letter, we’ll explore the beauty of trusting your instincts and the strength they provide as we face parenthood’s ups and downs. Ultimately, I hope you find this inspiring and reassuring as we uncover our capabilities and wisdom as parents.

Table of Contents

Why it’s crucial to trust your instincts as a parent

When we talk about parental instinct, we’re referring to every parent’s deep, inherent urge to protect, care for, and nurture their child. But have you ever wondered how such instinct works? Do you think it’s possible that it’s not just some mysterious feeling but the product of all our parenting knowledge and the wisdom of our parents?

As parents, we generally spend every day with our children. Although not all of us may have a medical degree or a psychology background, our interactions with our children have given us an incredible amount of insight on when they are happy or when they are feeling sad.

Without consciously realizing it, our brains are constantly processing all of this information and sending us signals: caution, truth, necessity, desire, or love.

Tailoring Your Touch to Each Child’s Tune

Bear in mind that each child is wonderfully unique. Since we are the ones who are physically present with our little ones day in and day out, we understand them better than anyone else. That connection enables us to sense when something’s not right, even if it’s just a tiny issue.

While advice from others can be valuable at times, it is important that we add our own personal touch to make it fit just right for your child. Trusting your instinct is more than what most parents say. It is built on all you’ve shared with your child.

Believe that every time you follow your instincts, you are making confident choices and wrapping your child in a warm security blanket.

And you know what?

Your confidence teaches your child to have faith in you even more.

When Should You Trust Your Intuition?

Trusting your intuition – those deep instincts that steer your choices and give you that nudge of caution – is a powerful feeling that naturally tells you when to proceed with caution. While you may not want to dwell on hypothetical dangers for your children constantly, there are a handful of real-life situations that highlight the value of a father’s intuition in making crucial parental decisions.

When a Pediatrician’s Advice Doesn’t Seem Right

Extensive medical training and experience with children doesn’t always mean pediatricians have all the answers when it comes to your kid’s well-being. Sometimes, doctors over-insure to avoid being sued or skip symptoms to prevent expensive procedures.

If you’ve ever left a pediatric visit feeling that a diagnosis just doesn’t seem to fit, remember that it is perfectly okay to seek a second opinion. You can request another appointment with a different pediatrician, or if your child’s symptoms become a cause for serious concern, don’t hesitate to have them evaluated at a hospital. After all, your instinct as a parent is a powerful asset, and no one knows your child better than you do regarding your child’s health.

When your child’s health instincts make you question a pediatrician’s advice, you can contact reputable medical sites offering expert advice on children’s health issues. Websites such as the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) or similar organizations in your country often provide parent-friendly advice and information.

When Choosing Childcare

There’s absolutely nothing wrong if you are too selective when it comes to choosing childcare. If something about your child’s preschool doesn’t sit right with you, it might be time to explore other alternatives.

It is best to trust your gut when it comes to family members who make you feel uneasy about leaving your kid in their care. Remember that your child’s safety is of the utmost importance, and the environment you can most directly influence is within your home. So, it’s entirely appropriate to proceed with caution when deciding whom to trust with your child’s life.

When you Notice Doubtful Relationships

As your child grows and enters school, they will naturally develop new friendships along the way. While it’s important to boost your child’s sense of independence, staying involved in monitoring their relationships is equally crucial.

Make an effort to get to know your child’s friends and their parents, and trust your instincts when allowing your child to visit someone else’s house. If you ever feel uncomfortable about it, it is perfectly fine to prioritize your child’s safety.

As a dad of an 11-year-old girl, I believe that one of my most potent weapons for safeguarding my daughter is that innate gut feeling that warns me when something just doesn’t seem right. Trusting my intuition has been a powerful tool in ensuring my daughter’s well-being as she starts to navigate the world of friendships.

When you Can’t Fully Trust to Family Members

Setting boundaries can be tricky, especially when it involves family members. Yet, it is vital to recognize that instances of abuse and harm often occur in our own backyard, at the hands of someone you know or are related to.

If a family member makes you or your child uncomfortable, don’t feel guilty for not exposing your child to that person. Bear in mind that just being a family member doesn’t automatically make someone immune to causing harm to your little one.

When making decisions about the relationships within your household, it’s essential to put your child’s safety first. Trust your gut feeling when assessing such domestic situations, and understand that the well-being of your kids should always be the top priority for any parent.

When You Suspect an Online Presence That Poses Risks

The internet can be a scary place for kids these days. The World Wide Web provides a platform where online predators can attempt to engage children through seemingly harmless chat rooms, images, or emails. As a parent, you must remain vigilant about your child’s online activities and the people they interact with.

For younger children, unrestricted access to smartphones, computers, or tablets is best avoided, and employing parental controls is essential for their online safety. It is also important to teach them that not everyone on the internet is who they claim to be. Help your child understand that dangerous individuals often target kids through online games and social media.

You can read more at “Unyielding Guarding in the Digital Age “

Trust your Instinct to Protect

Along with becoming a parent comes the great responsibility of keeping our children safe. When it comes to water safety, stranger danger or online threats, it’s good to have organizations that specialize in child safety. For example, the National Safety Council provides detailed safety guides that can help you prepare for and prevent emergencies.

Below is a list of the things that I worry most about for my daughter:

Understanding the Risks Associated with Water

Water can pose significant risks to children, whether in pools, lakes, oceans, ponds, or even bathtubs.

The truth is that young kids often don’t understand the potential dangers associated with water. They are drawn to it, sometimes getting too close to the edge of a pool’s deep end, playfully submerging their heads during bath time, or running into the ocean without thinking about the threat of swift currents.

Educate your little one about water safety and maintain vigilant supervision whenever you and your child bond near water.

Strange Animal Behavior

If your family pet or a neighbor’s animal shows signs of aggression, it’s important to prioritize your child’s safety. Take immediate steps to keep your child away from the animal, and consider re-homing your pet if necessary.

Trust your instincts if you ever feel uneasy about a neighbor’s extremely energetic dog or notice your once-docile cat acting agitated or territorial. Whether in the animal kingdom or among humans, being a parent brings a heightened sense of intuition designed to protect our children from harm.

Mysterious Noise at Night

The darkness of the night brings about some of the most peculiar occurrences. You might have just settled into bed after a long day, only to be startled by an unfamiliar noise echoing from another corner of your home.

When you can’t easily pinpoint the origin of the sound through your baby monitor, it may be best to leave your bed to investigate. There have been numerous accounts where a dad’s instincts have led him to get up, only to find a heavy object has fallen in the nursery, endangering the child, the little one experiencing irregular breathing or discovering an intruder in the house.

Trust that gut feeling, for it could make all the difference. It is almost like a sixth sense that compels you to spring into action and check on your child whenever you hear strange noises.

Worries About Crowded Places

No doubt, surviving crowded places with your little one can be quite a challenge. It’s easy to momentarily lose sight of your child or become more relaxed about keeping a close eye on them, especially during huge family gatherings.

Remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being extra cautious when in a crowded space, particularly if your little one tends to dash off running. The truth is that young children’s developing brains often do not fully grasp the potential dangers of being in a crowd. For them, it may even seem like an exciting adventure.

In such situations, your gut feeling should be your unwavering guide. Trusting your parental instincts is vital to ensure your child’s safety at all times amidst the dangers of crowded spaces.

To Trust Your Gut

Life with a newborn is equally a wonderful and daunting journey. While we hope for it to be a nice sloping learning curve, it often feels like a leap into uncharted territory. Remember that regardless of the number of books (and blog posts) you’ve read, classes you’ve attended, or conversations you’ve had with other parents, the experience of becoming a parent is a whole different monster.

What’s best, and perhaps the most challenging, about parenting is the fact that there’s no one-size-fits-all manual. Give yourself the freedom to make mistakes and adjust your path as needed. You know your child and your family better than anyone else, and you are the expert on what’s best. Trust me, your choices will evolve into ones that fit your unique parenting journey, I promise!

And, while it might feel like everyone has the perfect solution for this and the best ways to handle that, here comes my piece of unsolicited advice – in the end, you will know what is right. Trust that, and don’t ever apologize.

Sincerely,

A Father Who’s Been There

PS We’d love to hear from you! Please share your stories, experiences, and thoughts with me. Your unique perspective will undoubtedly make this site a vibrant space of varying voices for parents.

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