How To Help Your Anxious Teenager And Resolve Family Conflicts

Discover effective strategies to ease parental stress and build a harmonious family dynamic. Expert tips on handling an anxious teenager.

Children grow up and go from cute little angels to rude and neglectful. Sometimes it is not enough for them to neglect their duties at home. They also start to miss school. The last thing they care about is their degrees. Not only do they not think about their future, but they seem to try to make every possible mistake. Alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, or irresponsible sex for them is heroism. It’s not easy to be a parent to an anxious teenager.

You tried to talk to them, to remind them how important this stage of their life is. I know you’ve tried everything possible, no matter your parenting style.

When my older daughter entered this period, I was stressed and didn’t know what to do. The best advice I got was from a friend.

“You cannot do anything. This is their life. The most important thing is to stay by her side and try to be her friend because that way when she needs you, she will be able to tell you. If you only punish her and fight with her, she will punish you with bad behavior.”

Excellent advice, but how do you be friends with a teenager who hates you just because you’re their parent?

I want to share a few ways you can better bond with and befriend your teen.

Table of Contents

Listen actively to your anxious teenager

Show key interest in your teen’s likes and dislikes and find common ground you can discuss. They will eventually open up to you when they start relating to you. As they share, you need to listen to everything with open-mindedness. That is your chance to discover why they are the way they are. Engage with them, ask them questions, and do not shut them down. The tone is essential to teens – be careful with it. Your point of view does not matter at this stage, as the teen only wants to be heard. They are not looking for your validation. They just want your presence around.

Spend time in their world

Please give them the freedom to explore and join them whenever possible. Make every interaction with them count. Notice what they are good at and appreciate them. Let your guard down and be available to them. Share news about their favorite celebrity and see what inspires them. Planning activities together, like cooking, gardening, and biking, will give you time to bond and create beautiful memories for both of you. In the meantime, be there in their challenging moments as well.

Deep connection comes with understanding feelings

You know this stage is difficult for them. We, as parents, need to help them understand their feelings. By pondering questions such as “What is happening?”, “Why is this happening,” “Why do I feel scared?” they may begin to think of solutions. Don’t ignore or leave them alone. Instead, show love and encouragement as they try to navigate through life. Admit your mistakes to them and teach them that mistakes are okay. You don’t have to be the perfect parent. Rather, be the REAL parent.

R Rational

E Encouraging

A Affirming

L Loving

Our goal as a parent is to help them be who they want to be. Let’s remember the inner child in us and miss out on enjoying life with our anxious teenagers. Let’s shower them with our love, warmth, and encouragement to help them become their best version.

But this is only one small part of how to help your young person cope with the challenges of the world around them.

Encourage Independence While Setting Boundaries

Teenagers are at a stage where they’re gradually transitioning into adulthood. This process often involves a strong desire for independence and self-expression. As a parent, it’s important to encourage this independence and set clear and reasonable boundaries. Discuss with your teen why specific rules are in place and be open to their input. This approach not only fosters responsibility but also respects their growing need for autonomy.

Be a Role Model

Teenagers are keen observers, even if it doesn’t always seem that way. They often learn by example, so it’s crucial to model the behaviors and values you wish to see in them. This includes showing respect in your interactions, managing your emotions healthily, and demonstrating responsibility in your own life. Remember, actions often speak louder than words.

Focus on Positive Reinforcement

While it’s necessary to address negative behaviors, positive reinforcement can be a more effective way to encourage desired behaviors. Praise their efforts, celebrate their achievements (no matter how small), and acknowledge their good decisions. Positive reinforcement will boost their self-esteem and will make them more likely to repeat those positive behaviors.

Keep Communication Channels Open

Maintaining an open line of communication is vital. Let your teen know they can always talk to you about anything without fear of judgment or immediate reprimand. This does not mean that you have to agree with everything, but that you are ready to listen and understand their point of view. Keeping the channels of communication open helps your teen feel valued and supported.

Seek Help When Needed

There are times when a situation may be beyond what you can handle as a parent. If you’re concerned about your teen, don’t hesitate to seek help from professionals. Getting professional advice can provide you with additional strategies to support your teen and can also offer your teen an external, unbiased source of support.

Join Parenting Groups or Workshops

Joining parenting groups or attending workshops can provide you with additional strategies, support, and a sense of community. Sharing experiences with other parents can offer new perspectives and coping strategies for your anxious teenager. It can also be reassuring to know that other parents are facing similar challenges.

Celebrate Their Individuality

Finally, celebrate your teen’s uniqueness. Each teenager has their own set of strengths, interests, and paths in life. Let them pursue their passions and support them in their endeavors. When they feel supported in being themselves, they are more likely to be confident and open with you.

These strategies can strengthen your relationship with your teenager, helping them navigate this challenging yet critical phase of their lives. Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution in parenting, and the key is often in the willingness to adapt and learn alongside your child.

If you want to know how I coped with my youngest daughter, you might want to check out the book she and I co-wrote, Dealing with Teen Anxiety, on Amazon.

Read the reviews, and you’ll know it’s worth the time to read it.

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