8 Effective Strategies For Picky Eater

Who would’ve thought that convincing a little one to eat broccoli would turn into a daily negotiation? I can’t even remember when my older daughter, once so adventurous with food, became this picky eater, rejecting almost everything on her plate.

Despite the grocery store offering a gazillion options, I found myself sticking to the same things over and over, afraid of more rejection. Parenthood, they say, is full of surprises, and the shift from carefree eater to becoming more selective was a surprising twist in my journey as a mom.

But before my younger daughter picked up the same habits, I decided to tackle the issue head-on. After countless tries, I’ve figured out what works not just for my older daughter but also for my younger one. If you’re looking to get your child excited about healthier options, give my tried-and-tested methods a shot. But first, let’s understand why children frequently resist eating.

8 Reasons Why Children Refuse to Eat

1. Growing independence

Children often develop picky eating habits as a natural part of their growth and development. Toddlers and young children like to assert their independence. They enjoy making their own choices. This extends to their food preferences.

Picky eating is a typical phase in their journey of exploring autonomy and testing limits. So, when they seem picky about food, it may be just a typical phase in their growth.

2. Too tired or distracted

Children may become fussy eaters because their focus on exploring and playing makes them less interested in sitting down for meals. Additionally, fatigue from insufficient sleep can contribute to a lack of appetite and fussiness when it comes to eating.

3. Changing appetite

Toddlers commonly experience fluctuations in their eating habits, with days of hearty appetite followed by less interest, often due to growth spurts. Growth spurts are periods of rapid physical and developmental changes that increase a child’s hunger.

Understanding this natural pattern can ease concerns. If your child claims not to be hungry, respect their cues. Provide nutritious food without pressure to eat, supporting their overall well-being during these growth phases.

4. Late introduction to lumpy foods

Studies suggest that delaying the introduction of lumpy foods until after nine months may lead to a higher likelihood of children becoming picky eaters, emphasizing the importance of introducing diverse textures early for healthy eating habits.

5. Routines

Children thrive with routines, and this extends to their eating habits. When mealtime lacks a consistent schedule, children are more likely to snack frequently, often on unhealthy foods. Irregular mealtimes also lead to solitary eating rather than enjoying meals with the family, making the experience less enjoyable and limiting exposure to various foods.

6. Wrong practices

It’s often noticed that it can backfire when parents use punishment, bribes, or pressure to get their kids to eat. This parental concern might lead to the kids continuing their picky eating habits because they start associating negative feelings with food.

7. Food Neophobia

Food neophobia is when kids fear trying new or unfamiliar foods, and it’s quite common in toddlers and young children. As they grow, they might feel uneasy about trying foods with different textures, shapes, and colors that they’re not used to. While the intensity of this fear varies among kids, most eventually outgrow it.

To integrate a particular food into their daily diet, it should be introduced to them consistently, ideally around 10 to 15 times. This repetition helps their taste buds become more familiar with it. That is particularly important when exposing children to foods with different textures and flavors.

8. Sensory issues

Some kids may strongly react to the feel of certain foods in their mouths. If your child appears bothered by certain textures or avoids touching and eating specific foods, it could be due to their unique way of processing sensations. That can make certain experiences unpleasant for them and impact their overall enjoyment of food and sensory information.

If you’re worried about these behaviors and observe that your child is particularly uncomfortable with different foods, it’s advisable to consult with a healthcare professional or specialist. They can provide advice on helping your child manage sensory challenges and become more comfortable with different types of food.

Now that we understand why some kids fuss about food let’s explore how to help them build a healthy connection with food. Here are some tips for dealing with picky eaters.

Practical Tips for Cultivating Healthy Eating Habits in Picky Eaters

1. Encourage New Foods Without the Pressure to Finish

As a parent, I totally get the frustration of dealing with a child who consistently turns down a particular meal. It can be really tempting to push them to finish it, almost like it’s the hundredth time you’ve offered and been rejected.

But imagine this scenario: you’re on vacation in a foreign country, and someone insists you try a local dish you find unappealing. How would you feel? Well, for our little ones, trying new foods can be just as overwhelming.

Instead of resorting to force, take a gentler approach when introducing new foods to children. Instead of turning it into a battle, encourage them to give it a try, assuring them that they don’t have to eat it if they don’t like it. This approach allows for a low-pressure first exposure to the new food.

For younger kids, start by letting them explore the food through touch, smell, and conversation. Gradually, over a few times, encourage them to take a tiny “baby” bite. This step may require patience, but with consistent encouragement, the child will eventually try it.

In our family, we have established a simple rule: I insist she takes at least one decent-sized bite before my daughter decides she doesn’t like food. Most of the time, she realizes it’s not as bad as she thought and ends up eating the whole thing. I’m firm about the one-mouthful rule—it must be a proper taste test. To make things easier, I often prepare meals with familiar items and add a new item for them to try. I make sure they give it a shot. After a few attempts, they usually become more comfortable with it and start eating it without any fuss.

2. Avoiding Power Struggles

Parents often feel the pressure to ensure their kids eat healthy and the right amount of food. This pressure can lead to food battles, as children try to assert control even in their food environment. Forcing a child to eat something they’ve rejected can create negative associations with that food.

In such situations, Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility in Feeding provides valuable guidance. Ellyn Satter, an expert in eating and feeding, recommends that parents take charge of deciding what, when, and where to eat while allowing children to decide whether and how much to eat. Trusting children to recognize their hunger cues helps prevent unhealthy eating habits, fostering a more positive and balanced approach to mealtimes.

When you feed your infant, you are responsible for what they are offered to eat: Whether they will be breast- or formula fed. They are responsible for everything else: how much, how fast, how frequently.
Ellyn Satter’s Division

3. Keep it Casual.

Children often go through phases of picky eating, and making a fuss may not help. Keep it casual, and don’t turn it into a big deal. For instance, if your child is hesitant about trying broccoli, simply include it as part of the meal without making a special mention. Clear the plate away as usual without offering extra attention to their reaction.

I have a similar experience with mushrooms. I used to avoid them until one day, during a family gathering, they were mixed into a delicious pasta dish. Hungry and not paying much attention, I had a bite and found them surprisingly tasty. It turned out to be a game-changer, and I’ve enjoyed mushrooms ever since. So, perhaps casually introduce new foods, and sometimes, in the right setting, they might discover a new favorite without any fuss.

4. The timing is important.

When dealing with a picky eater, timing can play a crucial role. Encourage healthy eating habits by minimizing snacking between meals. Instead, introduce new foods when your child is genuinely hungry, as this may make them more receptive to trying different items without resistance. For example, if your child typically avoids trying unfamiliar fruits, present them as a snack when they are hungry before a meal.

5. Introduce Variety

Previously, to avoid rejection, I used to pack the same 3-4 types of meals in my daughter’s lunchbox, thinking it was a healthy and wholesome choice. However, I overlooked the fact that sticking to the same type of meal, even if nutritious, wouldn’t provide her with a well-rounded nutritional intake. Worse, she came to see this monotony as normal and became hesitant to try new foods.

It was only after a conversation with my nutritionist friend that I realized the importance of offering kids a variety of food options, even if they initially resisted. Now, I actively encourage my children to try dishes from different cultures. This approach helps them develop their palate, and they often discover that a food they disliked in one cuisine can be delicious when prepared differently.

6. One Meal for All

Resist the temptation to prepare a separate meal if your picky child refuses to eat what’s on the table. Creating a separate meal may inadvertently reinforce their resistance to trying new foods. Instead, stick to offering a balanced and nutritious meal for the whole family.

For example, my daughter used to be hesitant about eating vegetables, and I often found myself preparing a separate dish just for her. However, this only reinforced her preference for avoiding veggies. When I started serving one meal for the entire family, she gradually became more willing to try the vegetables as she saw others enjoying them. Over time, she developed a more diverse palate, and our family meals became a more positive and inclusive experience.

7. Involve Them in Cooking

A powerful method to cultivate a positive attitude towards food is by getting children involved in the cooking process. Allowing them to take part in tasks like washing, chopping, and even selecting vegetables at the grocery store can transform their perspective. As they contribute to the preparation of meals, children become more open and willing to try the dishes they had a hand in creating.

8. Embrace Occasional Indulgence

Encouraging your kids to enjoy occasional treats is a positive approach. Allowing them access to such delights in moderation prevents a sense of deprivation or FOMO (fear of missing out).

Teach them the importance of balance and set limits on how much is suitable for them. You can even turn this into an opportunity to incorporate something healthier. For instance, in our routine, indulging in snacks is allowed after having a healthy snack of their choice, usually a piece of fruit. This way, they learn to appreciate these moments in moderation and get a dose of nutrition along with their indulgence.

“Dealing with picky eaters may seem like a never-ending, uphill battle, but it will get easier,” Harguth explains. “Keep in mind that you’re not alone. Nearly all parents struggle with picky eaters. The key is to keep going and continue offering new foods.”
Anne Harguth,

Turning Mealtime into Joyful Moments

Being a mom to a picky eater is like embarking on a daily culinary adventure. Whether it’s negotiating with tiny taste buds or turning mealtime into a creative experience, the key is to find the right balance between nutrition and flexibility.

Some days, it’s a big win when they eat their veggies happily, and other days, we just go with the flow and laugh about it. Most importantly, we’ve learned that not every meal has to be a battle, and that makes our dinner table a happier place.

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