Unyielding Guarding in the Digital Age

A Guide to Conversations about Online Safety with Your Child

In this digital age, dangers are all around our children. We constantly question their safety and whether we have done everything necessary to protect them. Sometimes so much so that we invade their personal space.

Last night, around 11 p.m., a friend called me. She was very stressed because she saw messages from a dating app on her 14-year-old daughter’s phone. She opened them and saw that her daughter was texting with a much older man. The questions were pouring in on me without being able to answer: 

How did this happen? I thought she was still a little kid. When did she grow up? Why is she acting so stupidly? Should I delete the app? Shall I punish her? How do I punish her? I need to talk to her. Should I wake her up now? I am distraught. Should I read all the correspondence? Shall I see if she has done any other stupid things? How could I be so foolish and trust her? Why didn’t I find out about this earlier? When was I supposed to talk to her about this?…

I let her pour out all her questions so she could release the adrenaline. After this, we discussed the various options until we found the best solution for her situation.

I can only imagine your curiosity screaming inside you: And what is the solution?

The solution to such a complex and sensitive problem can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances and personalities. 

Before deciding “what can you do?” let’s first look at

What should not do?

Don’t panic. If you see your child, it means there is no irreparable damage. You will instinctively want to punish and restrain, but take a deep breath and think. What will be the effect of your actions? See the article on “What not to do”. Even if you have already reacted impulsively, there is still time to proceed in the right way.

Once you know what not to do, it’s time to gather the information you need to have a productive conversation.

Read more at From Panic to Partnership: Parenting Strategies for Online Safety

Questions you should be familiar with

At what age should we explain?

Start discussing online safety from a young age, adapting your conversations to their level of understanding. Around the time they begin using the internet, usually in the pre-teen years, you can introduce more detailed discussions about the potential risks.

• When is it appropriate to start discussing online safety with my child?
• How can I adapt these conversations as my child grows and becomes more internet-savvy?
• How do I empower my child to set healthy limits on their screen time and online activities?
• What can I do to help them develop self-discipline and manage their online presence responsibly?
• How much privacy should I give my child online while ensuring their safety?
• How can I strike a balance between monitoring their activities and respecting their independence?

Read more on Empower Your Child Online: Safeguarding Their Online Journey from a Young Age

What are the dangers?

• Online Predators: Teach your child about the potential dangers of interacting with strangers online, especially older individuals who might not have good intentions.
• Cyberbullying: Discuss the concept of cyberbullying and the emotional impact it can have on someone. Encourage your child to report any incidents.

• Inappropriate Content: Help your child understand the importance of avoiding explicit or inappropriate content that could be harmful.
• Online Scams: Educate your child about the existence of online scams and phishing attempts, where people may try to trick them into revealing personal information or sending money.

Read more at Build Digital Defense: 5 Strategies to Keep Your Kids Safe from Online Threats

What is the difference between online scammers?

• Verify Identities: Encourage them to only communicate offline with people they know and trust. If someone online claims to be someone they know, they should verify through another channel.
• Avoid Sharing Personal Information: Remind them not to share personal information like address, phone number, school name, or financial details with anyone online.
• Be Sceptical of Requests: Instruct your child to be cautious of any requests for money, gifts, or personal information from online acquaintances, even if they seem friendly.
• Look for Red Flags: Teach your child about common red flags, like poor grammar, story inconsistencies, or pressuring them into sharing information.
• Use Secure Platforms: Encourage them to use secure and reputable platforms for online interactions and be cautious when clicking links or downloading files.
  

Read more on Web of Deception: Strengthening Digital Security by Exposing Online Scammers

Educating your child about online safety

• How can I educate my child about potential online risks without inducing fear or paranoia?

• What tools can I provide to help them make informed decisions and navigate the online world with confidence?
• Teach privacy & security measures
• How do I teach my child to evaluate information and sources they come across online critically?
• What strategies can I use to help them distinguish between reliable and unreliable information?

Read more at Educating Your Child About Online Safety: Nurturing Digital Wisdom

What is Digital Etiquette?

• How can I help my child understand the importance of being respectful and kind when interacting online?
• What guidelines should I provide for appropriate behavior in digital spaces?
• How do I discuss the influence of peers and social dynamics in online interactions?

• What strategies can I provide to help my child make responsible choices even in the face of peer pressure?
• What steps should my child take if they encounter something online that makes them uncomfortable or worried?
• How can I support them in reporting such incidents and seeking help if needed?

Read more at Digital Etiquette: Nurturing Responsible Online Behavior in Kids.

How Do I Address Cyberbullying and Online Harassment?

• What steps should I take if my child is a victim of cyberbullying or online harassment?
• How can I support my child emotionally and help them navigate such situations?

Read more on Standing Ground: How to Tackle Cyberbullying Head-on

What’s My Child’s Online Footprint?

• How do I explain the concept of a digital footprint and the potential implications of their online actions?
• What advice can I offer to help them make choices that positively shape their online presence?

Remember, these questions are meant to guide your thinking and encourage thoughtful consideration of how to approach online safety conversations with your children. Every family’s situation is unique, so adapt these questions to your specific circumstances and your child’s age and maturity level.

Read more on Your Child’s Digital Footprint: Importance & Online Safety Tips

Links you should have on hand

In addition to safeguarding our children through education, it’s essential to take action against online scammers and protect others from falling victim to their schemes. By reporting these incidents, you can contribute to a safer digital environment for all. Here are a few websites you should check out to report online scams and incidents:

1. FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3): The FBI’s IC3 is a central hub for reporting internet-related crimes and scams, ensuring that authorities are aware of these activities.
2. StopBullying.gov – Cyberbullying Reporting: If you encounter cyberbullying, this resource offers guidance on how to report incidents and seek help.
3. Childnet International – How to Make a Report: Childnet International provides information on how to make reports regarding online safety concerns, especially those involving children.
4. National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC): NCMEC plays a critical role in preventing child exploitation, and they offer resources for reporting concerns related to online child safety.
5. Federal Trade Commission (FTC) – Report Fraud: The FTC allows individuals to report fraud, including online scams, to help protect others from falling victim.

Nowadays, very often, children are much more aware than we parents about the dangers of the Internet, but a calm conversation can enrich both of you.

In conclusion, I will share my friend’s

Decision on what to do

The next day, she asked her daughter to accompany her to Edinburgh to keep her company. During the trip, she shared how they tried to take money from her through PayPal fraudulently. Luckily, she checked which email the letter came from and found out that this letter was from something other than PayPal.

From there, she started asking questions about whether she had similar incidents. What were the most dangerous moments in surfing? Since her daughter hadn’t mentioned the app, my friend decided to be a little more direct. She complained about a Facebook bully sending her obscenities and how she had to block and report him on Facebook.

So, gradually, her daughter relaxed and shared with her about the application. Because they just wanted to hang out with their girlfriends… So the conversation continued, and my friend managed to tell her all the dangers that could follow, not only that they could use her photos, but that she could be tracked down and confronted in real life with a man who would claim to have been deceived by her.

Frightened by what her daughter heard, she immediately deleted her profile and then uninstalled the application.

It might be a different story for you; it could be chatting with a stranger on Instagram, Facebook, or in some game. The possibilities are endless, but you know best where your child might stumble.

Share with them to share with you.

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