Establishing A Routine: The Key To Effortless Child-Rearing (2-4 Years)

Like most people, I embrace the comfort of having a daily routine. From that little habit of stopping at the same coffee shop on the way to work every day to ensure that all lights are switched off before jumping to bed, we unknowingly consider these patterns as necessary and important.

Well, guess what? Our kids need them, too! A daily routine is necessary to ensure their overall growth and development, especially between 2 and 4 years old. Incidentally, more parents are creating new daily routines for their kids to bring some order into the chaos of raising their toddlers and preschoolers.

Also, parents often face the challenge of figuring out how to react to their child’s behavior at this age. What occurs right after a child exhibits a particular behavior is called a consequence. A positive consequence shows your child that they’ve done something you appreciate. On the flip side, negative consequences or “discipline” lets your child know that they have crossed a line or acted in a way that’s not okay.

Why routines matter
Research shows that routines support healthy social-emotional development in early childhood. In particular, children with regular routines at home have self-regulation skills, the building blocks of good mental health. When children learn to regulate feelings and behaviors, it means they are able to identify their feelings and have skills to manage those feelings so that they don’t feel overwhelmed.

Young children who learn to do this well are better able to adapt to everyday challenges, stressors, and new expectations. Children do not learn to do this all at once. Just as when a child is learning other important skills, like reading and writing, self-regulation is a set of skills that build over time. Every stage includes age-appropriate milestones and important things parents can do to coach children from one stage into the next.

The Importance of Routines for Kids – Zero to Thrive

In this post, we’ll discuss how to let our children understand the consequences of their behavior, why establishing a regular routine benefits your child, and how it brings comfort and safety into their young lives.

Table of Contents

Negative and Positive Consequences

Positive consequences or rewards can work wonders in motivating your child, making it more likely for them to lean towards positive behaviors. Rewards come in all shapes and sizes, from a simple pat on the back to more tangible treats like toys.

My personal favorite is what most parents call relationship-based rewards. Not only do they boost self-esteem, but they also strengthen the bond between you and your child. With my daughter, I gave her simple rewards like snuggling up for two bedtime stories instead of the usual one, having the power to choose which movie to watch during family night, or some one-on-one time at the park.

When opting for this approach, setting goals that make sense for your child is crucial. Keep it simple because if the goals seem too far-fetched, chances are your little one might not even give it a shot. Also, when picking a reward, make sure it is something that they actually like. If a new sticker book doesn’t spark joy in them, then it’s probably not the best choice. So, pause for a sec and think about what makes your kid’s eyes light up.

To keep tabs toward a well-deserved reward, get creative with a method that clicks for you and your child. Here’s a tip: for toddlers and preschoolers, it’s best to hand out rewards pronto. Their memory is not as sharp as it is for older children, so the positive pat on the back should follow the positive behavior spot-on.

When you find yourself using negative consequences to address misbehavior, the key is to pinpoint exactly what’s not okay. Start by identifying what you want your kid to knock off, and spell it out for them. Remember that clear communication reduces any chance of confusion.

It’s always smart to link negative consequences directly to the misstep, like taking away the blocks if they are into block-throwing. However, you should also understand your child’s ‘currency.’ My daughter was head over heels for her My Little Pony plush toys for months. Just the threat of losing them for a day had her falling in line with whatever I requested.

Remember that once the warning is out and the misbehavior persists, make sure you follow through. It is worth noting that if your child does manage to course-correct, you should throw in positive consequences such as a hug, a high-five, or some well-deserved praise.

If you find yourself in the not-so-fun zone of negative consequences, it helps if you explain why such consequences are happening. Brace yourself, for this is the point where kids pull out their best negotiating tactics or throw a tantrum. Don’t be afraid to say “NO.” Stay strong because giving in would send the message that your warnings were mere suggestions.

As parents, it’s only natural to want to fulfill our child’s every desire. But teaching them the value of working hard for the things they want is equally important. Strike a balance between being all warm and fuzzy while still laying down some ground rules. Let them deal with a bit of discomfort, as it helps foster resilience and emotional independence.

What Does Routine Mean to Your Child?

Our kids hear “routine,” and they picture a schedule or some sort of structure. The word ‘routine’ often carries a bad rep, as it can sound forceful, repetitive, and downright monotonous. However, routines are of the utmost importance in their overall development.

Simply put, a routine for your child is like a set of guidelines and activities that provide some order to their day. Creating the right routine for your little one offers numerous benefits.

Bedtime and dinnertime routines (as mundane as they may be) are highly important. My daughter used to anchor her day to these moments when she interacted with her loved ones. Not only could she predict when and how these routines happened, but she also often participated in meaningful ways, like helping set the table or picking out the bedtime story.

Here’s an example of the routine I set up for my daughter when she was younger:

● Brushing her teeth in the morning and right before going to bed

● Taking a short nap after lunch

● Play outside after eating her afternoon snacks

● Read a book half an hour before bedtime

Every household may have its unique daily routine, but what truly matters is creating one that best suits your family. Below are some of the reasons why a routine is essential for your child:

Brings Structure in Their Life

It’s no secret that having a daily routine gives a steady dose of predictability in the lives of our toddlers and preschoolers. Although we always see them revel in chaos and excitement, there is solace in having familiar, easily-achieved activities. Young kids tend to get a bit jittery with new or unknown things, causing both stress and discomfort. Remember that if every day remains too unpredictable and they constantly struggle with unfamiliar tasks, it could lead to self-esteem and confidence issues in the years to come.

I tried introducing simple household chores with my daughter, like helping clean up after lunch or tidying up after playtime. Over time, those tasks became a natural part of her daily routine that she could effortlessly follow.

Instills Positive Habits

The primary goal of establishing a routine for your kid is to nurture positive habits within them. It is no surprise if your young child can’t recognize when they are slipping into negative behavior patterns. Such behaviors, like inadequate sleep and excessive screen time, practices my daughter used to be guilty of, can escalate into habits that can hinder growth and development if left unaddressed.

Unlike adults, children cannot set their own boundaries and guidelines. By putting together a well-designed routine that serves as a set of clear rules for them, we effectively assist in breaking any undesirable habits that they may have unintentionally picked up along the way.

Encourages Them to Explore New Experiences

Whether brushing their teeth, taking a bath, or washing their hands after touching something dirty – from my daughter’s perspective, none of those activities seem beneficial or fascinating. She would easily resist anything that does not captivate her interest, no matter how often I tell her it’s good for her.

Your best bet is to incorporate these healthful tasks into their routine, making it more likely for your child to embrace them. Over time, these favorable practices become ingrained in their daily lives, effortlessly becoming part of their routine.

Be patient. Remember that the longer they do it, the easier they integrate these habits into their daily lives.

Helps Them Be Independent

Routines are a clever way to teach your kids valuable skills by having them repeat certain tasks until they become a habit. This independence-building practice contributes to the development of their memory and motor skills.

One parent told me how he taught his little boy Kahl everyday tasks such as getting dressed for school, tying his shoelaces, and organizing his school supplies, patiently guiding him until he mastered them through consistent practice. Instead of constantly being directed, his son has also gained confidence to manage his actions.

Teaches Them Discipline and Time Management

Time management can be a challenge, and our kids are no exception. They might take forever to complete even the simplest tasks if left unchecked. Establishing a routine will help your child set clear time limits for different activities and encourage them to remain focused on the task instead of playing around.

For instance, I set my daughter a timer for 5 minutes while she brushes her teeth – no more, no less. Getting dressed for bedtime is also just a 10-minute activity. If their schedule the following day calls for a 10 PM bedtime, they will quickly learn the value of winding down around that time. This method will help your child develop a better sense of time and reduce distractions by promoting focus.

Provides Opportunity for Memorable “Daily Rituals”

When you incorporate something special into your daily routine, you create dedicated moments that foster a deeper bond with your child daily. I remember snuggling up and reading to my daughter every night while she drank milk before bedtime, creating a ‘daily ritual’ for us that was both memorable and beneficial.

Instead of rushing through one task after another, look at your routines from a more constructive and reassuring perspective. Through this, you can enjoy quality, relaxing time woven into your daily life.

Offers Stability During Times of Stress

Kids can go through tough times when significant changes take place, like switching schools or having a new baby brother or sister. However, when a solid routine has been established, it will offer a sense of normality in your child’s life, regardless of what’s happening around them.

Whether it’s our regular family dinner or our afternoon-going-to-the-playground habit, I understood that routines brought a sense of calm, consistency, and love into my daughter’s world, urging me to stick with our routine no matter how rigid or demanding.

How to Create a Daily Routine for Your Child

Parents, know that you can start a routine right from day one. And if you haven’t, it’s perfectly fine – you can set them up anytime. But of course, the sooner you get started, the more it can benefit you and your child.

First, set up key times like mealtime, snack time, nap time, and bedtime. Start with the things that can affect your child’s sleep and eating habits. If you have yet to place a routine right now, it may be ideal to begin easing into it one step at a time.

With my daughter, I tried establishing a consistent nap and bedtime first before introducing regular baths and meal times as we went along. This strategy worked wonders for me, as my little girl got crankier when she lacked sleep than when she got hungry.

Add “fun” elements to each routine. Whether it’s a daily trip to the park or walking the dog together, putting in an element of ‘fun’ helps. As mentioned, I included a 10-minute reading and cuddling time with my daughter before bedtime. Not only did it help my hyperactive little girl to relax, but it also got her in the mood for sleep.

Be consistent. For your routine to stick, it’s important to maintain it religiously. However, it also has to be open to a bit of flexibility, especially for holidays and special occasions. You wouldn’t want to see your child’s happiness be tied to, let’s say, sleeping or eating at a precise hour.

Practice patience. Setting a schedule might initially be a bit challenging for your child. No worries. They’ll get used to it over time. Don’t get frustrated or discouraged if it takes a while for the routine to become a consistent part of your child’s daily life.

What Makes a Good Routine?

I’m not going to tell you what your routine should be because I don’t know your child, I don’t know you, I don’t know where you’re from. The daily routine is different for each family and person, especially for a child, and it’s a constantly changing process.

One day, they’re taking afternoon naps, then suddenly, it’s time for them to head off to school. You’ve been helping them get into the habit of going to bed at 8, only to discover that due to their school schedule, they need to rise at 5:00 AM!

It can be a bit overwhelming – when to have meals, when to rest, when to study. All these choices are up to you.

The Power of Establishing A Routine in Child Development

While creating and sticking to a routine has many advantages, it is equally crucial to remain flexible. There are no doubt numerous reasons why a daily routine can benefit your child, but they must be effectively implemented.

Remember that when a schedule becomes overly rigid, its perks diminish, and children might feel constrained. I understand that spontaneity and a little creativity are essential in a child’s life, so I allow my daughter to veer from our routine occasionally.

So, loosen up parents. A little extra sugar on their diet or a few minutes more than their agreed screen time won’t do any harm. Plus, I get to enjoy that amazing feeling of being dubbed the “cool dad” by my hyperactive child.

Keep an eye out for the upcoming release of Maggie’s latest book, which offers an in-depth exploration of the art of establishing effective routines in child-rearing. This book is packed with practical advice and relatable experiences, making it an essential read for those looking to enrich their parenting skills and create a nurturing environment for their children’s development.

Moreover, there’s a special opportunity for those eager to get an early glimpse and contribute their perspectives. You can subscribe to receive an advance copy of Maggie’s book. This is your chance to provide valuable feedback and help refine a guide that aims to be a cornerstone for parents and caregivers. By being part of this early review process, you’ll be directly influencing positive change in child development practices.

Don’t miss this opportunity to shape a resource that promises to impact the parenting journey profoundly. Subscribe now for an advance copy and join a community that fosters positive child development!