The Importance Of Early Sex Education For Youth. Is 2 Years Too Early?

Opening a conversation about sex with our children is indeed a challenging task. Combining “sex” and “child” in a sentence can trigger uncomfortable emotions. It’s a natural reaction driven by the instinct to protect our children from harm. However, much like teaching them how to cross the street, discussing sex and relationships is an essential part of safeguarding their well-being and guiding them through life’s complexities.

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The Crucial Need for Early Sex Education

As parents, it’s crucial to overcome any lingering discomfort or stigma associated with sex. Instead, we should focus on providing our children with the knowledge and tools to navigate the world around them. It’s about preparing them for the challenges and decisions they will inevitably face as they grow and develop.

So, let’s take a deep breath and challenge the notion that sex is inherently evil. In reality, sex is a natural and fundamental aspect of human life. It’s a beautiful and intimate expression of love and affection when shared between consenting adults. By teaching our children about sex, we empower them to make informed choices when the time is right, ensuring that they engage in healthy, safe, and consensual relationships.

Remember, it’s not about rushing them into understanding complex matters before they are ready. Instead, it’s about providing age-appropriate information, fostering open communication, and creating a safe space for them to ask questions and seek guidance. By doing so, we can help our children develop a healthy and respectful attitude towards sex and relationships, ultimately enabling them to make informed decisions when the time comes.

Educating your children is a powerful way to empower them.

Things to consider while educating your kids.

You want them to get the correct information, but the first time is always awkward. In sex education, the first time is when you name the private parts. Yes, as early as when they are 1 or 2 years old. 

First lesson – use the correct names, penis, vagina, etc.

You think it’s too early. When would you do it? According to my husband, it should be around age 35, and I get that. But he doesn’t even want to go to the dentist; who wants to?

Imagine two cute little boys chatting. One innocently asks, “Can I see your pee-pee?” and the other responds matter-of-factly, “I don’t have a pee-pee; I have a penis.” It’s adorable. Does this illustrate how having the correct knowledge can foster a sense of calm and safety in your child?

Now, let’s imagine that the first boy is significantly older but not necessarily a sinister older individual, which is a concerning thought. In such a situation, you might regret not emphasizing to your child the importance of never showing their private parts to others. They must understand that if anyone ever makes such a request, they should feel alarmed and immediately come to you for support and guidance.

You can protect children from abuse by introducing them to their private parts and establishing age-appropriate rules. Predators often target those who lack knowledge and understanding, making it crucial to empower children with the correct information to keep them safe.

Once you begin using the correct names for body parts, it becomes considerably easier to discuss sex and the various changes children experience as they grow up.

As you read the article, you may think there are points of contention, depending on your understanding. The level of detail is entirely up to you. You choose how much information you want to share with your child. The key takeaway is maintaining open communication and ensuring your child knows they can come to you with any questions or concerns related to sex and relationships.

Note: Placing a red dot to emphasize the age of 12 

That is a crucial age marker. By around 12 years old, children often become less receptive to parental guidance. Let’s face it – children start seeing us as equals around this age. They may believe they possess a certain level of intelligence and knowledge that allows them to listen to someone other than their parents. This tendency becomes even more pronounced if we’ve shielded them excessively from the realities of life.

That is the period when their hormones start their tumultuous dance. Suppose you haven’t provided them with comprehensive information about sex by this age. In that case, it can become significantly more challenging to do so later on. So, it’s vital to address these topics before this critical milestone.  

Children are frequently exposed to sex-related information at a much earlier age than parents might realize. Avoiding conversations about these topics can lead them to engage in risky sexual activities, potentially resulting in issues like teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). It’s vital to address these matters openly and honestly to equip them with the knowledge they need to make informed and responsible choices.

Children are often curious, and if we don’t provide accurate information, they may seek it from less reliable sources such as peers, the Internet, or negative influences. This misinformation can lead them down a risky path regarding sex and relationships, making it even more critical for parents to engage in open and honest conversations on these subjects.

When, what, and how to discuss

When and what to discuss sex with your children can vary based on age and developmental stage, but how is the same for all stages.

How?

Think of it as creating a safe space where they can share with you their thoughts and learn about their bodies and relationships without fear or hesitation. This way, you give them the tools they need to make informed and responsible choices as they grow and face life’s challenges. It’s all about setting them up for a healthy and confident transition into adulthood.

It’s all about building a solid relationship that will be there to support them through every step of their journey to adulthood.

Be Honest. Continuously respond to questions honestly, using language that suits their age and level of understanding. Utilize precise terminology when discussing body parts and their functions.

Note Privacy and Modesty: Teach children about the importance of privacy and modesty. Explain that they’ll need more personal space as they grow and should respect others’ privacy, too. Includes changing clothes in private areas and maintaining personal boundaries.

Use Age-Appropriate Books and Resources: Consider incorporating age-appropriate books or resources tailored to their developmental stage. These materials can serve as helpful tools for explaining the changes they’ll experience and the significance of respecting boundaries.

Positive Body Image: Promote a positive body image by emphasizing that every person’s body is unique and entirely normal. Address any concerns about their body image, reassuring them that they are perfectly fine just the way they are.

There is no denying that every day as a parent is a teachable moment. These moments can occur over something casual, such as watching a TV show together or reading a bedtime story. Done this way, it becomes less uncomfortable as the moment is already happening. You’re just making the most of it.

Another suggestion is making it a family habit of speaking openly about topics that may seem taboo, such as sex. Model the behavior and the openness in respectably talking about your body parts to show your children that it is OK to talk about these topics. Above all, establish and maintain a trust bond between you and your child. Let your ear be the first ear they come running to, and remember, discussions on sex do not just happen overnight. Like everything in raising a child, it takes continuity and patience.  

When for what to talk about 

Early childhood (2-5 years)  

At this age, their curiosity fuels the conversation, especially if there are siblings at home of the opposite sex. Even though there are no siblings, parents should teach the basics that boys and girls are different, as boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. It’s as simple as this. We also teach them simple terms of good and bad touches. Everybody loves a naked baby running around, but after going through the baby stages, you need to talk to your children about when it’s appropriate to be naked and when it’s not, and more importantly, model the practices you are trying to teach them. 

What: 

1. Basic Anatomy:

Start with the basics.
Teach your children that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.
Please keep it simple and age appropriate.

2. Good and Bad Touches:

Introduce the concept of good and bad touches.
Explain that some touches are OK, like hugs from family members, while others are not if they make them uncomfortable.
Make sure they understand that their bodies are private, and they have the right to say “NO” to unwanted touches, even if it is you or a close relative.

Addressing these topics in a straightforward and age-appropriate manner during early childhood lays the foundation for open communication about sex and related subjects as your child grows and matures.

Book:

When teaching sex education to our little ones aged 2-5 years, it’s important to use books that are just right for their age. These books should gently introduce basic ideas about their bodies, boundaries, and how to stay safe in a way that feels comfortable and reassuring. Here are a few books that we might find helpful:

Every parent must navigate the tricky situation of teaching kids about personal boundaries in a healthy, age-appropriate manner. Finding the right personal safety books to do it, however, just got easier with this book about personal space.

Here is a picture book designed especially for young children who are becoming aware of their bodies, but aren’t ready to learn about sexual intercourse.

Now every parent, grandparent, or teacher can explain to a child the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching in a way that young boys and girls can understand.

Before using any book for sex education, it’s essential to review it first to ensure it aligns with your values and the specific messages you want to convey to your child. Additionally, consider reading the book together with your child to facilitate discussions and answer any questions they may have.

Middle childhood (5-8 years)  

Children’s understanding of the world continues to develop in middle childhood, and their questions may become more detailed and specific. It is a perfect time to build upon the foundation laid during early childhood.

As they become more body aware, the essentiality of teaching the various body parts becomes even more pressing. Teaching the proper names of the body parts and emphasizing why they are called private parts are part of the cementing process. Along with teaching the various private parts, other lessons like refusal skills are helpful, especially in emphasizing boundaries. Teaching them to say no whenever they feel uncomfortable opens the door to learning to speak up when they get older. 

 What:

1. Body Changes: Keep the information simple and appropriate for their age. 

Start explaining that as children grow, their bodies will undergo changes. 
Discuss the basics of puberty, like the development of breasts in girls and facial hair in boys. 
Introduce the topic of menstruation to your child around the age of 8 but be prepared to address it earlier if they show curiosity or if they have female siblings who have started menstruating. (Please, Prepare Boys Too)

2. Consent and Boundaries:

Reinforce the importance of personal boundaries and consent.
Discuss that respecting others’ personal space and feelings is essential.
Teach them about saying “NO” if they feel uncomfortable.

Book:

Sex education for children aged 6-8 years should continue to use age-appropriate books that provide more detailed information while maintaining a sensitive and informative approach. Here are some books suitable for this age group:

An international and beloved bestselling children’s classic, Where Did I Come From? helps parents and their curious children get up close and personal with the intimate world of human sexuality in the form of a picture book.

What makes me a girl? What makes me a boy? Why are some parts of girls’ and boys’ bodies the same and why are some parts different? How was I made? Where do babies come from? Is it true that a stork brings babies to mommies and daddies?

Asking questions is one of many ways they learn about themselves and the world around them. Now, this unique series for our youngest children provides easy-to-understand facts and answers to their delightful, thoughtful, and often nonstop questions.

Late childhood (9 – 12 years)  

That is usually the period of first love. The moment they start not just liking someone but wanting to do something more. Don’t panic. This “more” is usually handholding, but they should still be unclear about how things are going. I bet if you ask them if they’ve kissed, they’ll say “Ugh” with such disgust that you’ll hardly be able to hold back your laughter.

1. The main topics you should pay attention to:

Parents should prioritize providing their pre-teen children with essential knowledge about these topics. To avoid redundancy, I’m offering a checklist for reference in case any crucial aspects have been overlooked.

Puberty.

Menstruation and Periods.

Reproduction.

Risk of pregnancy & birth control

STDs

Emotional risk and vulnerability.

Emotional Changes.

Personal Hygiene.

Healthy & unhealthy relationships

Consent before sex

Online Safety.

Peer Pressure and Decision-Making.

Safe and Unsafe Touches.

LGBTQ+ and Diversity.

Encourage Questions.

Positive Body Image.

Remember to use age-appropriate language and resources and keep the lines of communication open. Late childhood is a crucial time to provide comprehensive sex education that will help them make informed decisions and navigate the changes and challenges of adolescence.

Book:

For children aged 9 to 12 years, sex education should continue to evolve to address their growing curiosity and changing needs. Books suitable for this age group should provide more comprehensive information about puberty, relationships, and personal responsibility while maintaining sensitivity to their emotional development. Here are some books you can consider:

Joanna Cole’s Asking About Sex & Growing Up is the perfect book to provide answers to preteens’ questions about sex. Writing especially for kids ages 8-12, the author uses a question-and-answer format to offer straightforward information on a wide variety of subjects related to sex and puberty.

Boy’s Body Book includes everything you need to know about growing up, even the embarrassing stuff. The newly updated fifth edition provides advice for parents and addresses questions a pre-teen boy may have while maturing through puberty.

It’s Perfectly Normal has been a trusted resource on sexuality for more than twenty-five years. Rigorously vetted by experts, this is the most ambitiously updated editionyet, featuring to-the-minute information and language accompanied by new and refreshed art.

Wouldn’t you rather be too early than too late?   

Parenting is never an easy feat, but the journey doesn’t have to be more difficult, as speaking to your children about sex education at an early age can save you a world of frustration as they grow older. Having these conversations at appropriate stages, addressing concerns as they are brought up, and shaping a healthy relationship around sex are ways to protect your children from ills such as abuse, pregnancy, indecent sexual acts, and many others. You may think it’s too early, but wouldn’t you rather be too early than too late? 

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