Understanding Developmental Delay And Embracing Neurodiversity

Boost your child’s strengths and support their neurodiverse journey. Learn about developmental delay and embrace the beauty of neurodiversity.

A few years ago, I had the privilege of coaching basketball for a group of intellectually challenged kids. My experience teaching the game to a group of neurodiverse children helped me develop a better appreciation for the sport.

Going into our first session, little did I know that what I would learn there was far greater than just another regular basketball clinic lesson.

Despite having different disabilities, the kids showed great enthusiasm and were amazingly helpful to each other. Surprisingly, they managed to support one another and showed patience and compassion for teammates who struggled or found particular routines difficult. These kids, who simply jumped out of bed early in the morning to play basketball, developed a deep bond through our training sessions.

Watching their faces light up each time they played taught me that sports have a remarkable ability to change the world. It was such a heartwarming experience for me, and I am humbled to this day. I admit that in the few short years the boys and I shared, they taught me that basketball goes beyond lay-ups and crossovers.

In the past years, there has been a growing awareness of neurodiversity – a concept that celebrates the natural variations in how our brains work. It covers a spectrum of developmental differences, such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and more. As we move forward into the next generation, it’s crucial for schools to embrace adaptability and inclusivity.

By welcoming neurodiversity, we unlock the full potential of those with developmental differences, making our society more innovative and compassionate.

Neurodiversity recognizes that each person’s brain functions uniquely. Much like how biodiversity enriches the environment, neurodiversity helps enrich our collective human experience. With an increasing number of developmental diagnoses, it’s important to grasp that neurodiversity is not a deficit but a valuable part of who we are.

What Is Neurodiversity?
To me, neurodiversity is the idea that neurological differences like autism and ADHD are the result of normal, natural variation in the human genome. This represents a new and fundamentally different way of looking at conditions that were traditionally pathologized; it’s a viewpoint that is not universally accepted, although it is increasingly supported by science.
John Elder Robison

Take autism spectrum disorder (ASD) as an example. Children diagnosed with ASD may have developmental delays, meaning they reach social, emotional, communication, cognitive, and physical milestones in ways different from neurotypical kids.

However, labeling these differences as mere “delays” oversimplifies the story. Many autistic children achieve some milestones on time or even early, sometimes exceptionally so. Others might progress a bit late, lose ground over time, or follow a unique development path.

In this article, we’ll try (as much as we can) to provide an accurate and comprehensive view of developmental milestones and their significance in the lives of autistic children. We will highlight the traits to watch for and challenge the notion of “delays” in kids who simply learn and live differently.

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What Does Being Neurodivergent Mean?

In the late 1990s, Judy Singer, a sociologist with autism, coined the term “neurodiversity.” It refers to the concept that certain developmental differences are normal variations in the brain, with the added perk that kids with these quirks often feature their own unique strengths.

Take ADHD, for instance. Sure, they may struggle with time management, but you get a burst of passion, drive, and creative thinking in return.

To be clear, neurodiversity isn’t just a fancy way of saying disability. While children with neurodivergent traits might need extra support at school, it doesn’t define them.

Keep in mind that words pack a punch, and when it comes to talking about autism, the labels we use really matter. The old-school medical model treats autism like a health condition that needs to be fixed, a problem that requires a cure.

The Neurodiversity Paradigm flips the script. It is rooted in a Social Model of disability that sees things differently. This concept tells us that autism is not the issue but the environment that disables people. It zeroes in on tearing down the barriers in society that usher neurodivergent folks to the sidelines.

What Are the Benefits of Having a Neurodiverse Child?

Neurodiverse kids tackle challenges because their brains work a little differently from others. But here’s the cool part: they’ve got exceptional abilities that will blow your mind. Watch out for these traits in your neurodiverse kid:

Intense focus and attention. Neurodiverse children dive deep into their favorite subjects, leading to a profound understanding of everything they are into.

Incredible memory. Neurodiverse kids are like walking encyclopedias, especially when it comes to their favorite things. From science, historical events, and even video games, they easily memorize facts about them all in record time.

Enhanced perceptual ability. Dyslexic kids display serious touch with 3D objects better than the average person. And when it comes to finding patterns, they are simply nothing short of exceptional.

Reasoning. Ever notice how kids with neurodiversity rock at solving complex problems? Whether cracking tricky math equations, coding computers, or playing video games, these whiz kids have a knack for putting intricate stuff into order. Such talent can help in acing school and achieving professional success.

Creativity. The brains of kids with ADHD buzz with ideas and creativity. Similarly, dyslexic children find fresh ways to do and think about things.

Adventurous. This is especially true for kids with ADHD. It fits right in with their energetic, outgoing personalities.

Kindness. Those chatty kids with ADHD can surprisingly hold charming conversations. They have this knack for being friendly and downright fun to hang out with.

Signs and Symptoms for Developmental Delay

Neurodivergent kids have unique characteristics that show off their one-of-a-kind brains. These traits can vary from person to person and from condition to condition. More often than not, some pretty interesting traits make them stand out.

Highly Responsive to Stimuli

Many neurodivergent kids experience sensory sensitivities, but not always in a good way. Certain sounds, textures, and lights can be overwhelming or downright distressing. Their senses are constantly on high alert, and can sometimes be a full-blown sensory overload.

Challenges Dealing With Emotional Ups and Downs

Handling emotions can be a bit of a puzzle for neurodivergent kids. Some might crank up their emotional intensity, while others might find putting their feelings into words tricky. What will that look like? You might see emotional responses that don’t exactly fit societal norms. Sadly, it would sometimes feel like they’ve had their own emotional struggle.

Repetitive Behavior

Neurodivergent children may have this thing for doing stuff over and over. Why? Their special rituals provide a sense of predictability and comfort. It’s their way of coping with anxiety or calling a timeout from sensory overload.

Fixing “Symptoms” vs. Boosting Strengths

Embracing neurodiversity doesn’t mean sitting back and letting their cognitive chaos unfold. It’s more like celebrating their unique traits and helping them when needed. Of course, you wouldn’t let impulsive kids hurt each other, and teaching social and emotional skills is still on the table.

Behavioral therapy is considered by many as the best treatment to improve executive functioning and boost the self-esteem of neurodiverse kids. While they have their own set of skills and needs, behavioral interventions should be based on what’s best for the child’s overall well-being.

Focusing on the Good

Neurodiversity supporters think that we are spending too much time dwelling on the downsides of conditions like ADHD. Their pitch is for us to switch our perspectives and focus on what these kids are good at, not what they might be lacking.

For instance, ADHD warriors have high empathy, spontaneity, and courage. Plus, expect them to be laser-focused when they lock in something.

Those with autism can pay attention to complex details, flaunt memories, and bust out those unique “specialty” skills. They are highly effective in certain gigs like music or computer programming.

Children with dyslexia see certain visual data in ways that set them apart from those without the condition. They can be extremely helpful in jobs that require engineering and computer graphics.

See, it’s all about celebrating the perks and embracing the quirks.

Best Ways to Support Your Neurodiverse Child

As parents, we strive to provide unwavering support and create an environment that truly nurtures our children’s unique strengths. For parents of neurodiverse kids, this space comes with its own set of challenges.

However, amidst those challenges, it can still be inspiring and rewarding. Remember that your child’s differences aren’t roadblocks but are traits that make them extraordinary.

What does twice exceptional mean?
Twice exceptional, or 2E, refers to children or adults who are both intellectually gifted and have a learning or developmental challenge. This may be the case for people with autism, ADHD, or dyslexia.
A person’s gift may mask a disability, or a disability may mask a person’s gift. Whether a child is identified as twice exceptional in school or an adult decides to seek out a diagnosis later in life, acknowledging both can help individuals find support or services.

Below are some of the ways you can be the awesome parent your neurodiverse child deserves:

Focus on Growth

Supporting a neurodiverse child is a lot easier said than done, but boy, is it a journey filled with rewards. Instead of obsessing over their developmental stages, focusing on their growth as unique individuals is more important. Celebrating even your child’s smallest victories creates an environment where improvement naturally happens at their own pace and free of others’ expectations.

Understand Your Neurodiverse Child’s Unique Approach

Watching our kids navigate through life can be a rollercoaster for us parents. We naturally want to shield them from making mistakes and guide them smoothly toward adulthood, whether neurotypical or neurodivergent. Embracing fresh perspectives comes with a truckload of benefits. Being open-minded and accepting the unique ways your child tackles tasks helps us better understand that it is, in fact, their strength.

Neurodiverse kids bring a competitive edge to the table. Their out-of-the-box thinking contributes fresh insights and perspectives. By fully embracing your child’s unique outlook, you are creating a space where they feel supported and encouraged to explore their awesome potential.

Pay Attention to Their Passions

Parenting neurodiverse children calls for a unique game plan. One effective strategy is to zoom in and nurture the skills they are most passionate about. Parents who make it their mission to cultivate their child’s interests are essentially crafting an environment where their child feels noticed, deeply understood, and valued.

Make Everyday Tasks Comfortable and Easy

Neurodiverse kids bring their unique perspectives and abilities to the table, meaning we need to roll out customized strategies to tackle everyday activities in ways that align with their comfort levels. Knowing their needs and preferences is critical to helping them build effective coping mechanisms.

Also, by breaking down tasks into manageable steps, we are helping them to focus better, get rid of anxiety, and slash stress levels. It’s not just about completing tasks but creating a world where they can thrive.

Acknowledge Their Problems and Emotions

Validation is a powerful tool for parents, especially when it comes to supporting the growth and emotional well-being of a neurodiverse child. Acknowledging their emotions and problems sends a powerful message that their experiences are real and important. This kind of validation nurtures a solid sense of self-worth and builds their confidence in the face of neurodiversity challenges.

When parents step in and empathize with their child’s struggles, it opens up avenues for better communication. It creates an environment where your child isn’t just heard but truly understood, valued, and supported.

Develop a Routine

Life with a neurodiverse child is a unique ride, and every day brings its own set of challenges. Establishing routines provides them with a sense of stability, predictability, and comfort, especially for kids who find daily tasks tricky.

Routines significantly reduce anxiety and boost independence for our neurodiverse kids. Routines not only provide them with a clear roadmap for their day but also allow them to develop many life skills, like packing their school bag and getting dressed.

Additionally, routines are the foundation of your neurodiverse child’s emotional resilience. They create this safe and predictable environment where they can confidently learn how to conquer each day.

Be Patient

Okay, here’s the deal: neurodiverse kids need a bit more time to process and navigate the world around them. Being patient nurtures an environment that provides your child with understanding and supports their unique needs. By demonstrating patience, parents are basically giving them a comfortable space to learn and express themselves at their own pace.

Your patience shows your child that you value and respect them for exactly who they are. Keep in mind that when your child knows they are understood and accepted, they are more likely to share with you their thoughts, feelings, and the challenges they grapple with.

Let’s be clear: being patient doesn’t mean you throw all the rules out the window. It’s about offering steady support, guidance, and understanding throughout their developmental journey. Allow patience to be your tool in building a positive relationship with your neurodiverse kid.

Supporting Children Progressing at Unique Developmental Rates

Have you ever met a child who freaks out over a lawnmower’s roar? Or a kid in kindergarten who’s still figuring out our facial expressions? A child in 4th grade who repeats the exact phrase like it’s their favorite tune. These might just be signs of neurodivergence – just the human brain’s way of throwing in some twists and turns.

Neurodiversity, or neurodivergence, is a concept that celebrates our neurological differences and an inclusive call to action. More importantly, the neurodiversity movement is on a mission to correct our mindset of trying to “cure” conditions like ADHD, autism, and sensory processing disorder, helping us embrace the awesome diversity in how our brains are wired.

Here’s the deal: achieving optimum mental health is not all about fitting into the idea of what’s “normal.” A large part of it is plugging into a community that understands your kinks. As parents, we can make a world of difference through inclusion, breaking down stigmas, and bringing in targeted therapies.

Maybe the distinction between neurotypical kids and neurodivergent children will soon fall away. Only then will every kid feel that they belong and that no child really gets left behind.

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