Effective Parenting Tips For Children Struggling With Anxiety

Research indicates that childhood anxiety poses a significant mental health challenge in our modern age. It’s an eye-opener to know that one in every five children grapples with clinical-level anxiety by the time they hit adolescence. While many kids eventually outgrow these worries, some continue to struggle, especially those who don’t receive the necessary support and assistance.

If you notice your young child or teen wrestling with anxiety, there’s plenty you can do to lend a helping hand. We’ve got some practical advice to guide you through providing comforting support, working together on coping strategies, and (if necessary) seeking out professional help.

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What is Child Anxiety?

Anxiety is a complex mix of worry, fear, and unease that can flood our children’s young minds and bodies with unsettling sensations. It’s something we all experience to some degree, but it’s a little more taxing for our children and teens.

Think about those moments before a big office presentation when nerves kick in. It’s a natural stress response. Typically, once the event is over, the anxiety eases off, and they switch back to their usual animated selves.

Anxiety becomes a real issue when it clings to your child, refusing to budge. When this happens, it can feel like being trapped in a whirlwind of overwhelming emotions, making even simple tasks seem daunting. More importantly, it can often dampen their daily lives, limiting what they feel up to tackling.

What Are the Common Triggers of Anxiety Among Children?

Children and teens get anxious for all sorts of reasons. It is usual for them to feel on edge without any clear cause. But if your child seems overwhelmed by anxiety, it might be a sign that something in their life is not quite right. That’s where a little extra support can really come in handy to help them figure out what’s really going on.

Here are some situations that might set off anxiety in our children:

Struggling with schoolwork or feeling stressed out at school
Being around a parent or someone who’s constantly on edge
Dealing with significant changes like moving, parents splitting up, or switching schools
Coping with the sickness or loss of someone close to them
Going through tough times where they don’t feel safe, like being bullied or facing discrimination
Not getting the support they need, especially if they have conditions that aren’t always understood, like ADHD or autism

Signs That Your Child Might Be Struggling With Anxiety

Anxiety can really mess with our children—their bodies, thoughts, feelings, and behavior. When a child or teen is dealing with uncertainty, you might notice them acting out of character or trying out new ways to cope with or dodge those apprehensive feelings.

Anxiety in children is often misunderstood as misbehavior or attention-seeking. It’s important for parents to recognize anxiety symptoms early on. Engaging children in discussions about their feelings and fears is a step towards understanding and managing anxiety effectively.

Dr. Jane Smith, Pediatric Psychologist:

Here are some ways anxiety might show up physically:

Feeling queasy or like they’re going to throw up
Getting all wound up, feeling jittery, or not able to sit still
Breaking out in a sweat or feeling hot
Taking short, shallow breaths (like they are out of breath)
Feeling shaky, like their legs are turning to jelly
Having trouble sleeping
Finding it challenging to focus on anything for long
Becoming more sensitive to loud noises, strong smells, or bright lights
Dealing with tummy troubles like diarrhea or needing to pee more often
Having panic attacks where their heart races

Here are some ways anxiety might mess with your child’s thoughts:

Getting stuck on thoughts that are upsetting, scary, or just plain negative
Spending a ton of time worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet·Freaking out about whether they’ll be able to handle everyday stuff like school or keeping up with friends.

Here’s how anxiety might make your child feel:

Nervous, like they’re on the edge or about to freak out
Overwhelmed, or everything’s spinning out of control
Terrified or like something awful is lurking around the corner

Here are some ways anxiety might affect your child’s behavior:

Isolating or pulling away from people. Also known as ‘separation anxiety,’ it includes not wanting to go to school or be away from parents.
Steering clear of social situations (social anxiety)
Being more irritable or lashing out
Doing the same things over and over or repeatedly seeking reassurance that might be a sign of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Messed up eating habits. Either indulging more than usual or not feeling hungry at all.
Self-harm

How Can I Support My Child When They Are Anxious?

When children get really anxious, they risk having a panic attack. If this happens, we must make them feel calm and secure. Check out the strategies below that may help.

The brain of a child is still developing and learning how to regulate emotions. When we teach children coping strategies for anxiety, we’re not just helping them for today—we’re setting the foundation for healthier emotional responses as they grow.
Dr. Robert Lee, Child Psychiatrist

Be there with them and offer comforting reassurance.

Just being close can make a world of difference. You can hold your child’s hand or hug them if it feels right. But if you think that’s too much, simply sitting nearby can work wonders too.

Reassure them that this uneasy feeling won’t stick around forever and that they will be alright. Try telling your child to think of it like a wave they can ride, with you beside them, supporting them until it eventually calms down.

Encourage them to think of a person (or place) that makes them feel safe.

If you have yet to try this trick, talk with them when they feel calm to figure out what this safe spot or person could be. Maybe it’s their cozy bedroom, a favorite spot in nature, or even a memory from a fun vacation. Sometimes, just holding onto a little keepsake from that calming place, like a seashell or a pebble, can do wonders.

Invite them to try doing an activity that usually helps them feel calm.

They could go for a run, a walk in the park, blasting some tunes, kick back with their favorite movie, dive into a beloved book, jot down thoughts in a journal, or get creative with painting or drawing.

Let’s say, in the whirlwind of her thoughts, your daughter finds refuge doing the things she knows best. She picks up her paintbrush and immerses herself in vibrant colors. Later, she pours her heart onto the pages of her journal, feeling the weight of stress lifting with every word. Through these simple actions, your child may find peace amidst the storm of anxiety and unease.

Help them recognize when they are anxious.

Anxiety can make your child feel all sorts of uncomfortable things: one moment, queasy, one moment, it makes their heart race. If they know how to spot these signs, they will know when to reach out and do something to ease the tension.

Consider this approach: take a sheet of paper and sketch a simple stick figure. Then, ask them to add words or pictures showing how their body reacts when anxiety attacks. Make sure they know you’re interested and accepting of whatever they share.

Spend time figuring out what triggers their anxiety. This could include schoolwork, relationships, or a combination of both. Ask them if there are changes you can make at home or school to help lighten the load.

Encourage them to start a ‘stress bucket’ activity together. Let them jot down what’s stressing them out and what helps them feel better.

Families play a critical role in helping children manage anxiety. Together, families can create stability and a sense of normalcy that helps children feel secure. Engaging in family activities that promote relaxation and connection is key.
Dr. Lisa Wong, Family Therapist

Have a chat about their anxiety.

Calmly, try to find out what’s going on inside their head. When your child opens up, make sure they know you understand where they are coming from. It’s normal to want to sweep their worries under the rug because, as parents, we want to make them feel better. But really, sometimes, just listening and understanding can work wonders.

List down activities that can help together.

When calm, ask them to create a list of activities that perk them up. Here are some things they could try:

Getting more active, going for a walk, or doing some exercise
Playing with a fidget toy to keep their hands busy
Building puzzles or Legos
Getting artsy by drawing or painting
Pouring their thoughts out in a journal
Relaxing with their favorite movie
Spending time or talking with friends
Cooking or baking something tasty in the kitchen

Hang out and have fun with your child.

You can help your child shake off their worries by just having a blast together and talking about all sorts of things. It doesn’t really have to be anything fancy. Just something that will leave them with fun memories.

Try doing an activity that grabs their attention. It will help keep their mind on the present moment. Maybe shoot some hoops, jam out on some musical instruments, or get crafty with a drawing or crocheting project.

Consider engaging in mindful activities that help your child relax.

Think about trying out activities like yoga, meditation, or even mindful coloring. It’s important to remember that what works for one person might not work for another, so encourage your child to explore and find what truly helps them unwind. As parents, it is our job to make sure they prioritize self-care and look after themselves.

You can easily find guided meditations or soothing music online for younger children. Additionally, some daily activities play a crucial role in supporting our children’s mental well-being. These include:

Engaging in some physical activities
Making sure they get enough sleep
Eating nutritious food
Staying hydrated by drinking enough water
Spending quality time with loved ones

While these seem like simple things to do, they can actually make a big difference in how our children feel. For instance, regular exercise (like free play) can be incredibly helpful in easing feelings of anxiety because it has a calming effect on the body.

And the best part is, it doesn’t have to be anything intense. Just taking a leisurely walk or doing gentle calisthenics can work wonders.

Offer words of encouragement.

Please make sure you let your child know how much you appreciate their effort and hard work. Remind them that as they continue to confront their anxiety, it will gradually start to fade away. Facing fears can be challenging for kids, so any chance you get to cheer them on and recognize their determination will make a difference.

Let’s say you know your child has been struggling with math homework, and they’ve been working on it for hours. But you see them diligently working through each problem despite feeling frustrated and tired.

In this case, you can say, “I can see how hard you’re working on your homework, and I appreciate your effort. I know it’s not easy, but you are doing great. Keep it up!”

Be a good role model.

Don’t try to hide your own experiences with anxiety and stress from your child. Instead, let them see or hear how you calmly tolerate it, manage it, and come out feeling better after getting through it.

Remember that kids pick up a lot from watching their parents, so every time you handle anxiety well, it is a valuable life lesson for them. For instance, if you’re feeling stressed because you’re running late for your child’s dental appointment, you could say, “I’m feeling a bit anxious about getting to our appointment on time. Can I switch on the car radio to help me calm down?”

With your teen, you might not need to explain it in the same way, but simply demonstrating effective coping mechanisms will show them effective and healthy ways to deal with anxiety.

Tools and Apps to Manage Child Anxiety

In today’s digital age, there are numerous tools and apps designed to help children understand and manage their anxiety more effectively. These apps often include features like mood tracking, mindfulness exercises, and stress management techniques, which can be engaging and beneficial for children. Here are some recommended tools and apps that can support your child’s mental health:

Headspace for Kids – This app offers tailored mindfulness exercises that help kids learn about calm, focus, and sleep. These exercises are designed to teach children the fundamentals of mindfulness with age-appropriate content.
Calm – Known for its relaxation and meditation guidance, Calm also provides sleep stories, breathing programs, and relaxing music specifically designed for children. It’s a great tool to help children unwind and manage feelings of anxiety.
Smiling Mind – Developed by psychologists and educators, Smiling Mind provides dedicated programs for children and teens to help them develop mindfulness skills. This free app is designed to assist kids in dealing with stress and maintaining mental well-being.
Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame – Ideal for younger children, this app is part of Sesame Street’s initiative to help kids build resilience and cope with everyday challenges. It teaches problem-solving skills, self-control, planning, and task persistence.
Moodpath – While more suitable for older kids and teenagers, Moodpath is an interactive mental health tracking app that assesses your child’s emotional well-being over a period of time. It provides insightful assessments that can help in identifying patterns related to anxiety.
SuperBetter – SuperBetter is a game-based app that builds resilience and the ability to stay strong, motivated, and optimistic even in the face of difficult challenges. It’s engaging and helps children and teens manage hardships and build personal strengths.
Stop, Breathe & Think Kids – This app is specifically designed for children aged 5-10. It offers fun, engaging, and easy-to-use mindfulness activities that help kids learn about and manage their emotions.
WorryTime – Created by mental health professionals, WorryTime is an app that helps children manage their worries by setting aside a specific time to think about them, which can help prevent anxiety from interfering with day-to-day life.

By incorporating these tools into daily routines, children can learn to manage their anxiety in a fun and interactive way. Each app offers unique features that cater to different aspects of anxiety management, from mindfulness and relaxation to emotional education and resilience building.

It’s important to remember that every child is different. What works for one might not work for another. Continuous support, patience, and willingness to adapt strategies are vital in helping your child navigate anxiety.
Dr. Omar Davis, Child Psychologist

Properly Handling Moments of Panic

In addition to managing your child’s restlessness and worries, it’s important for them to learn how to deal with their anxiety over the long term. Most of the strategies we listed involve helping them understand their anxiety better and what methods work best for them.

The more they understand this, the more confident they will become in their ability to cope, which can make anxiety feel less overwhelming.

As you think about which strategies to try, always give credit for doing your best. It’s completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed at times. Just remember that you don’t have to try five different things all at once.

Take a close look at our suggestions and choose one or two that you think might be helpful. It’s all about taking small steps towards managing your child’s anxiety effectively.

If you are looking for more practical advice on recognizing and handling childhood anxiety, we suggest checking out “Dealing With Teen Anxiety: A Simple Guide to Overcoming Anger, Depression, and Low Mood in Young People, using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” by Maggie and Renee Lovange.

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