“Drug use” is 2 words that cause shivers down the spine of any parent. None of us want our children to get caught up in it. It’s like a frightening, endless maze, and finding a way out can feel impossible.

On our last Christmas Eve, my children (18+ years old) shared, just like that, that at some point, they tried drugs. My look must have been chilling because everyone at the party began to explain that it was only once and that they did not continue, that it was harmless, etc. I was terrified. They are good children; they usually drink just when they go out with friends. They don’t smoke, so why did they have to try drugs?

You can see the answer to this question in our article

15 Reasons Why Children Turn To Drugs: The Silent Epidemic | Effects On Mental Health (maggielovange.com)

I can only imagine how a parent feels when they find out that their children are using drugs. Your first instinct is to yell at, punish, and forbid them. Totally normal. It’s the same as seeing your child play with a loaded gun. You know what happens to people with an addiction and the nightmare that follows not only for them but also for their loved ones. Perhaps they knew, too, when they first tried the thought – I’m not like others. I can stop at any time.

While it might seem like a good idea to put outright bans on drugs at home, this approach can sometimes make kids less likely to chat openly about their curiosities or experiences with drugs. Instead of laying down strict rules that might shut down those critical conversations, why not keep the lines of communication wide open? Talking openly about the risks and realities of drug use in a friendly, non-judgmental way can really help. This way, your kids will feel more comfortable coming to you with their questions or concerns, making it easier for you to guide them toward making smart choices. Keeping things open and friendly helps build trust, which is vital for navigating these tricky topics together.

Step 1 – They Need to Share

Now, let’s take a deep breath and think 4-5 moves ahead. If your child is holding a loaded gun, if you scream, they may get scared and press the trigger, so you approach slowly and gently take it out of their hands – the same needs to be done with drugs. Try to talk to them when they are not under the influence of drugs.

In many cases, victims are caught in a network of denial, believing that they can avoid addiction and maintain control. Tragically, they often slip into addiction before they even realize it’s happening. It is, therefore, vital to instruct children early that drugs pose a severe danger, affecting not only the user but also those who care for them. The importance of consistently reinforcing this message cannot be overstated, and the sooner these conversations begin, the more impactful they become. With age, the temptation to experiment with risky behavior often increases.

Unfortunately, there is little anyone can do until a person with drug addiction admits their problem. However, this does not mean you should just stand by, watch them self-destruct, and hope for a sudden insight.

The first move is to get your child to share with you. It’s hard to do. They’ll get away, lie, invent, or deny it, and they can even tell you, “It’s none of your business.” Don’t give up. Share stories and toss materials about harm. Find all their hiding places and check them regularly for drugs. If you find anything, move it out of your child’s reach.

Since sharing with you will take time, you can prepare for the next step. When your child finally shares that they use, stay calm. Have them try to describe their feelings and needs. They are unlikely to tell you the whole truth – not to you. Therefore, prepare yourself with different options for professional help.

Step 2: Professional Help

When seeking professional help for a child who uses drugs, there are several options available that meet different needs and circumstances. Millions of Americans have mental and substance use disorders. You can find options for treatment here.

This PDF contains the quick guide, which contains five questions to ask when looking for a treatment program.

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Here’s a brief description of the key types of professional help you might consider:

Addiction consultants

These specialists specialize in substance abuse and can provide both individual and group therapy. They are trained to discuss substance use disorders, develop treatment plans, and help with coping strategies to prevent relapse.

Psychologists and psychiatrists

For problems that may include underlying mental health conditions – depression or anxiety – that often occur along with substance abuse, it may be helpful to consult a psychologist or psychiatrist. Psychiatrists may also prescribe medication if necessary, which can be beneficial in cases of severe dependence or in dealing with withdrawal symptoms.

Family therapists

Because family dynamics often play an important role in substance abuse challenges, engaging a family therapist can be beneficial. Family therapy focuses on improving communication between family members and resolving conflicts. In addition, it helps the whole family support the child’s recovery.

Pediatricians or primary care physicians

A doctor who knows your child’s medical history can be a great starting point. They can offer initial assessments, refer you to specialists, and provide guidance on medical treatment that may be needed as part of the recovery process.

Establishments for inpatient treatment

These facilities provide intensive care programs that include medical and psychological care. They are suitable for severe cases when the environment or other factors make it difficult for the person to avoid substance use. Inpatient programs often include a structured therapy schedule, group meetings, and sometimes educational programs.

Outpatient treatment programs

Individuals can live at home while attending treatment sessions at a clinic or treatment center several times weekly. This option can be effective for those in milder stages of addiction or those with significant responsibilities at school or work.

Support groups

Groups such as Narcotics Anonymous (NA) or SMART Recovery can be beneficial. These programs provide peer support and are based on step-by-step programs designed to help people overcome addiction. There are also specific groups aimed at teenagers who can be particularly close.

School counselors and health services for pupils

Many schools have counselors trained to deal with substance abuse cases. These counselors can provide counseling services or refer students to outside specialists. They can also help students manage their schoolwork during treatment.

Online therapy

Online therapy and counseling services have become more prevalent. They may be a good option for families living in areas with limited local resources or those with limited time.

The choice of the correct type of professional help depends mainly on the severity of drug use, the presence of any concurrent mental illness, personal and family preferences, and logistical considerations such as insurance coverage and geographical location. It’s essential to involve your child in making these decisions as much as possible to ensure they feel supported and engaged on their recovery journey.

Ensure to verify whether your insurance plan includes coverage for the treatment program under consideration.

Be cautious of treatment centers offering
QUICK-FIX solutions.

Step 3: Don’t Believe Them

The sad truth is that there are no ex-alcoholics or ex-addicts. Once this happens, it can be repeated over and over again. This does not mean we should give them up, but we should prepare them for it. As parents, we need to prepare for this, too.

What happens when a drug addict decides to stop? What thoughts go over his head?

Although they have told you and they themselves really want to give up, the struggle they are waging within themselves is devastating. No, I’m not dramatic. The desire they feel is not like your desire to eat cake. Their desire right now is as a need. There is a huge need to do so.

I can give a pale semblance of an example – when you see your child doing something wrong, you want to scream at and scold them, but you know this is not the way. It’s hard to describe. Only a person who has been dependent on something can acquire some kind of cessation for the struggle not to take anymore. That is why there must be a sponsor who was a former drug addict to understand how he feels. Naturally, this desire decreases over time until something triggers the desire again.

Don’t forget. It’s quite common for someone who is thinking of stopping drugs to struggle with the idea of taking “Just one last dose.” This thought can feel like the last goodbye to a familiar habit or the last moment of relief before embarking on a challenging journey toward recovery.

It may seem like a way to gather strength or find an ending, a final experience to remember, or maybe a test to see if you can really say goodbye.

It’s like looking back one last time before stepping forward into new territory. However, it is crucial to recognize that this “last dose” can also resume hunger or increase dependence, making the path to recovery more difficult.

Talk to your child about these feelings, and consider how they can turn to someone to talk to at that moment about that. Someone you and they trust or a professional who can offer support and perspective as you navigate these desires. They can help them understand these impulses and deal with them in a way that supports your overall goals for health and sobriety.

In addition to wanting another dose, they also struggle with the suspicion that they will not cope.

Step 4: Support Them

Often, there is a fear of the discomfort of withdrawal symptoms, which makes one wonder, “Can I cope with this?” Doubts about the possibility of quitting based on past attempts or fear of change can also surface, leading to questions such as “Can I really do this?”

Despite the fears, there is usually a strong sense of hope for a healthier future and better relationships, which feeds the motivation to get through the difficult moments. Worries about how quitting can affect relationships, especially with friends who are still using substances, are common, along with hopes of repairing any damage done.

Questions such as: “How will I cope with stress or social situations without drug?” are typical, as substances often act as a crutch. Reflecting on past actions while under the influence can generate feelings of guilt and regret, but also a desire to correct yourself and move forward positively.

A firm determination to change often leads to making specific plans, such as attending an appointment or calling a therapist. Fear of relapse can be frightening, raising questions like, “What if I slip?” This fear can be paralyzing but also motivates you to seek structured support.

Try to be there for them and help them find the answers to these questions. Many begin to explore who they are without addiction, discover new interests, or reconnect with old passions. Each person’s journey is unique, and their range of thoughts and emotions can vary widely. Adequate support during this time is crucial for managing negative thoughts and reinforcing positive ones, making the road to recovery more straightforward.

Step 5 – Continue

Recovering from addiction is a long-term process that often requires ongoing support and adjustments based on your child’s evolving needs. Here are some ideas on how you can effectively continue this maintenance.

Be prepared for ups and downs

Understand that recovery involves ups and downs. Being prepared for this reality can help you and your child cope with challenges more effectively. Support from professionals can be invaluable in more difficult times.

Support positive behavior

Praise and acknowledge your child’s efforts and successes, no matter how small they seem. Positive reinforcement can boost self-esteem and motivation and encourage healthy choices.

Stay informed and participate

Keep up to date on the latest developments in addiction treatment and recovery strategies. By being informed, you can better support your child through new methods or ideas that can help on their recovery journey.

Adjust strategies according to needs

As your child grows and changes, their recovery needs may also change. Be open to changing your approach based on what works or doesn’t work. That may mean changing therapists, trying out new activities that promote sobriety, or adjusting the level of supervision and independence.

Encourage Self-Care and Independence

Encourage your child to take responsibility for self-care and recovery. That includes managing their schedule, attending therapy sessions, and making life decisions. Self-care is crucial and may include activities that reduce stress and improve well-being, such as meditation, yoga, or the creative arts.

Stress and trigger monitor

Watch for signs of stress or triggers that may lead to relapse. Discuss these triggers openly and work together to develop coping strategies. This proactive approach can help prevent relapse and enable your child to deal with challenges more effectively.

Maintain a supportive home environment

Create a home environment that supports recovery. That includes maintaining a drug-free environment, reducing stress, and encouraging open communication between all family members.

Continue therapy and support groups

Encourage continued participation in individual therapy, family therapy, and support groups. These resources are vital for both your child and your family and provide a safe space to discuss challenges and achievements.

Plan for the future free of drug use

Help your child plan for the future, including education, career goals, and personal aspirations. Having goals is crucial for maintaining long-term recovery as they provide direction and purpose.

Celebrate important events

Recognize and celebrate recovery stages, whether one month, six months, a year, or more. The celebrations can be an important reminder of the progress made and the importance of continuing on the road to recovery.

Following these steps and maintaining a flexible, supportive approach can help ensure that your child’s recovery is as smooth and successful as possible. It’s important to remember that while the road to recovery can be challenging, it’s also fraught with opportunities for growth and renewal.

The Way You React is Essential

In conclusion, discovering that your child is using drugs can be a deeply disturbing experience. Still, the way you react can significantly affect their willingness to change and the success of their recovery. Parents can play a key role in their child’s recovery path, starting with understanding and support rather than punishment and progressing through professional help and continuous, adaptive support.

Recovery is not a linear process. It includes constant effort, corrections, and unconditional love. The supportive family’s role is indispensable in providing a stable foundation on which the child can rebuild his or her life. Celebrating successes, preparing for failures, and maintaining open communication are key components that promote resilience and encourage perseverance.

As parents, your proactive involvement, informed approach, and continued encouragement can make a big difference. Remember that the journey to recovery is a marathon, not a sprint, and requires patience, understanding, and perseverance. By standing next to your child through his struggles and successes, you help him pave the way for a healthier and healthier, substance-free future.

By working together, step by step, you can overcome challenges and celebrate the rewards that come with your child regaining control of their life.

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